A Hit Home
by Surgery-Girl
Summary: When a young girl comes into the ICU it affects all the Sacred Heart staff. But it really hits home for JD.
1. No Time To Stop

_**SUMMERY: When a young girl comes into the ICU it affects all the Sacred Heart staff. But not nearly as bad as it did JD.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Scrubs.**_

"Patricia!" He yelled causing JD to jump. "How useless can someone be? The only thing I see you doing is converting oxygen to carbon dioxide."

"I was just…" He started getting a glare and a growl from Dr. Cox telling him to shut up.

"Now, make yourself useful and why don't you try to go help the patient in 3210. Now, I know this might be hard for you, Lucy, but don't kill the man." He looked at JD once more before rolling his eyes and walking away.

JD sighed and turned around. He put his elbows on the nurses' station leaning forward on them.

"Carla?" He said in a whiny voice. "Do you have a pen I can use?"

"Sure thing, Bambi," She smiled at him holding him a pen from the cup.

"I'll be taking that," Dr. Kelso said as he walked by. JD looked at him funny. "What? There are no god damn clicky top pens in this hospital."

"Sir?" JD said in an uncertain voice.

"I must have the clicky tops. Do you have a problem with that?" He said glaring at him.

"No, sir." JD said quickly. Dr. Kelso chuckled giving JD his smile.

"Great, have a great day, Sport." He walked away. JD sighed and looked at Carla.

"Sorry, Bambi. He's the Chief of Medicine." She held out a regular pen.

"Damn," He sighed. "Thanks, Carla."

"No problem, Bambi." He walked off holding the chart Dr. Cox had given him close to his chest.

* * *

"Good Morning, Mr. Willow. I'm Dr. Dorian." He said looking up at the patient. He was young. Too young.

"So, Doc, am I going to be getting out of here anytime soon?" Mr. Willows asked flashing a smile.

"No, I'm sorry. We got your results back. It confirms that you have Parkinson's disease. We would like to start you on Dopamine Agonists to try and get an early start on getting something like Dopamine to the brain."

There was a long silence.

"What will my life be like?" He asked. JD gulped.

"Usually we see that the longer the disease progress the less mobility a patient has. For now, meds that we put on will limit the amount of effect it has on your daily life."

"But when it gets worse?"

"If I were you, I would get a family member to help you."

There was a long silence.

"Is there a cure?"

"No, I'm sorry, there isn't."

Mr. Willows nodded looking down at his hands. JD looked at him once more before walking out.

_It's always hard when you tell a patient that their life is going to change because of a disease. But the longer you work in a hospital the more you know that there is no time to stop. You have to get back on your feet and work on the next patient hoping that their outcome will be better._

"Bambi?" Carla said hurrying the other way. "They're sending another one up."

He nodded and hurried after her.

_There's always another patient. There's always another life in your hands. _

The ER nurses hurried off the elevator wheeling a stretcher along side them.

"Okay let's get her to room 3716." Carla instructed. JD looked at the patient.

"How old is she?" He asked looking back up at the other nurses.

"Six."


	2. Leukemia

"Six?" His voice cracked. He stepped away from the stretcher as they continued by.

"Come on, Bambi," Carla ushered. JD nodded and followed them into the room.

The room soon cleared out and it was only Carla and JD.

"What does the chart say?" Carla asked looking at the frail, pale, sleeping girl.

"Hannah Davis, age 5. Presented with Fever of 102 degrees, fatigue, Head ache, weight loss, and signs of abuse."

"Poor baby," She said looking at her.

JD looked up with horrified eyes. He walked over to the young child and put his hands on the upper part of her neck.

"Swollen lymph nodes. Um, Carla, can you do a blood test?"

"Yeah, sure Bambi."

"Thanks." He walked out of the room in a daze.

* * *

"Are the blood results in?" He asked Carla as he walked up.

"Yeah," She handed them to her.

"Thanks." He walked towards the room opening the envelope. He pushed the door open to the room to find it empty except for the young girl. She sat awake in bed.

"Hi, Hannah?" The little girl looked over at JD as he walked in. "Hey, where are your parents?"

"At home with the other kids."

"Oh, how many siblings do you have?"

"Seven." She said holding up seven fingers.

"Wow. Well, I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"

She nodded smiling at him. He smiled back and walked out. He opened the envelope and looked at the papers within. His heart sinks into his chest. His throat went dry. His eyes began to burn. He walked past the nurses' station.

"Carla. Will you call Hannah's parents and tell them that their daughter has Leukemia? And keep an eye on her." His voice cracks as he talks. He continues to walk down the hall.

"Good God, Sheila. Did your voice just crack?" Dr. Cox said following him down the hall. JD turned on his heel. His eyes were red with tears.

"Not now, Dr. Cox." His voice was sharp. He turned on his heel and continued down the hall.

* * *

Carla giggled along with the little girl.

"You are too cute."

"Thank you." She smiled up at the nurse. "You're hair is prettiful." Her voice was so sweet and laced with innocence. It made Carla's heart cave in on itself.

"Well, maybe later today, I can help you do your hair."

"Really?" Her eyes sparkled with excitement. Carla laughed and nodded.

"Of coarse I will."

"Thank you, Miss…"

"Call me Carla."

"Thank you, Miss Carla." Carla smiled at the little girl.

"I'll be back in a little while." Hannah nodded as Carla walked out. "Has anyone seen JD?"

Nobody answered. She shook her head and walked off mumbling something.


	3. She Isn't Madison

"What's wrong with your whiter half?" Dr. Cox asked as Turk walked up. He was leaning against the nurses' station looking at a chart.

"Huh?"

"You haven't seen him either?"

"Hey, Babe." Carla said and kissed him.

"What do you mean either?" Turk asked looking at Dr. Cox.

"JD?" Carla asked. Dr. Cox nodded. "Nobody has seen him in an hour."

"What happened?" Turk asked making a confused look.

"He and I are taking care of this six year old leukemia patient…"

"Did you say leukemia?" She nodded. "Oh god."

* * *

The door shut and he walked out pulling his coat close to his body.

"Hey," He said nodding at his friend sitting leaning on the wall of the roof. His legs were out in front of him and his eyes were on his shoes.

"Hey," He replied quietly as Turk sat beside him. "You okay, Buddy?" He hit his knee.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He still hadn't looked up.

"Carla told me about the patient."

"Yeah it just… hurts. Another little girl isn't going to live her life because…" His voice trailed off.

"She could make it. She could fight this, JD. She isn't Madison."

"How do you know, Turk?" He stood up. "It's not fair. It's just… not fair."

"I know. I loved her too."

"It wasn't supposed to happen this way."

"One day, man, one day they'll cure it."

"It's not going to bring her back." With that he turned and walked through the door

* * *

.

"Hi, Hannah," JD said.

"Hi." Hannah smiled at her.

"I'm JD, your doctor." He sat down in the chair beside her.

"I'm Hannah, your patient." She said in her sweet voice. JD couldn't help but laugh.

"I know."

"Can we play a game?"

"Sure, I don't have anything to do." He stood up.

"My mom brought a bag in over there."

"What do you want to play?"

"Chutes and Ladders?"

"Sure."

He smiled at her before getting the bag digging it out. He pulled bed table over to the bed and setting it up.

They started to play. JD looked over at the little girl.

"Ha! I'm ahead." She said loudly. He laughed at her expression.

_JD looked down at Madison. She was giggling uncontrollably as she moved the piece around the board. _

He shook the thoughts from his head.

"You're move JD."

"_You're move, Daddy."_

"Okay," He rolled the dice.

"I'm still ahead." She smirked at him. He smiled back.

"No for long," He said.

She rolled the dice and climbed a ladder.

"Yay!" She squealed.

"Okay, okay we'll see who ends up at 100 first, Madi."

"Huh?"

"What?"

"You called me Madi."

"No, I didn't." He shook his head. She nodded. "Oh, um, sorry, Hannah."

"It's okay," She shrugged. He forced a smile and rolled.

"I hit a chute. No way! Not fair!" He whined.


	4. ALL

He walked out of the room and let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding in.

"Susan, it doesn't look like Mr. Morison got the amoxicillin I told you to give him. Now listen here and listen good, Marie, I don't know what your problem is today but you better get your head out of your ass and get back to work."

JD nodded and walked away not wanting to talk to him. After give Mr. Morison his meds, JD headed to the nurses' station.

"Hey Bambi," Carla said with a smile.

"Hey Carla." His voice was stripped off all enthusiasm.

"How you holding up, Vanilla Bear?" Turk said from his seat on the back desk. JD shrugged. "Remember what I said."

"I know." He sighed. "I'll see you at home guys."

He walked down the hall.

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He set his keys down on the table by the door and walked into the kitchen area.

"Hello? Anyone home?" He called out getting no answer. It was relief not to Carla asking him what was wrong. He didn't want to have to explain. He grabbed a drink out of the fridge and sat down on the couch.

Only about five minutes into his show, the door opened and Turk and Carla walked in.

"Hey Bambi," Carla said putting her things down.

"Hey Buddy," Turk said jumping on the couch beside him.

"Hey guys. I'm, ah, going to head to bed."

"Oh, um, okay," Carla said as he disappeared into his room. "What's wrong with him?"

She sat beside her husband on the couch.

"Just something that happened back in college …" His voice drifted off.

"Okay…" She sighed.

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_The next day…_

He walked into Hannah's room to check on her. Elliot was standing by the bed laughing.

"But boys are icky." Hannah said.

"You think that now, but when you get older…" Her voice drifted.

"Nope, never. Boys are icky. When Davie, my brother, comes inside he all stinky and wet. It's gross." Hannah said causing Elliot to laugh.

"Elliot?"

"Oh hey JD. Carla wanted me to come in here and see Hannah's hair."

"Miss. Carla did it last night." Hannah said. Her voice was still weak but she had her spirit behind it.

"Good Morning, Hannah," JD said. "You're hair is beautiful."

It was done in braids. She looked so pale and frail with her blonde hair pulled back.

"I'll see you later, Hannah."

"Okay, bye Elliot." Hannah called out as Elliot walked out. "Hi, JD."

JD sat on the corner of the bed.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Tired." She yawned.

"I know… I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay." She said and rolled over.

JD walked out and over to the nurses station.

"Hey, Carla. Have we gotten the results back?"

"Yeah." She handed him an envelope.

"Thanks."

He opened it quickly and scans the page.

"What is it, Bambi?" She asked.

"Acute lymphocytic leukemia."

"ALL." She sighed.

"Yeah. It's advanced." JD said.

"How advance?" She asked.

"I don't know if we can do any treatment that will be affective enough."


	5. Strong

He walked down the hall in a daze. Elliot came running from the opposite direction.

"JD." She said letting out a sigh. "I wanted to make sure you were okay. Carla told me about Hannah's diagnosis."

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just a hit below the belt to see that she's probably going to die at such a young age."

"JD, you can't say that. It's setting up for a far harder blow, if she doesn't make it."

"I just don't want to talk about it." He hurried away.

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"Marsha," Dr. Cox yelled causing him the jump. "I don't see work being done. After so long, you would think that you could figure out what needs to be done in this hellhole people call a hospital. Now, Kelso wants you in his office. So, Sara, pick up your pompoms and go be the kiss ass cheerleader you were born to be. I'll watch the girl."

JD simply nodded and walked off.

Dr. Cox grabbed the chart as he shook his head and walked into the room mumbling something under his breath. He looked over the top of the chart and quickly looked back at the chart. But what he didn't see made him do a double take. He looked at the little girl sitting in bed as her shut the chart putting it under his arm and crossed them across his chest.

"Hey, kid. Where are your parents?" He asked.

"At home." She said looking at him with her big innocent eyes.

"Why aren't they here?"

"I have seven siblings." He made a face.

"Seven? Have they been here at all since you got here?"

"Yeah, for a little bit to drop off some things."

"Okay…" He said unsure of what to say. He walked over and checked her stats.

"Dr…"

"Cox."

"Can you play a game?"

Dr. Cox looked at the little girl and sighed. He looked around to be sure nobody was looking. Then, he looked at his watch before sitting down beside the bed.

"What do you got, kid?" He said adjusting himself. He took off his badge and stethoscope.

"Do you know how to play… um, Candy Land?"

Dr. Cox thought about weather or not to do it. He looked back up at her. Something made him cave. He let out a sigh and nodded.

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JD opened the door the find Dr. Cox laughing along with the little girl. His eyes diverted to the floor. Dr. Cox looked up and stopped laughing. He stood up and looked down at the little girl.

"Bye, Dr. Cox." Hannah said.

"Bye," He gave JD a roll of the eye before walking out. "Newbie."

JD sighed and nodded.

"I'll be right back, Hannah."

"Yes, Dr. Cox." He said.

"That was… In there… I was just…" He said.

"I understand, Dr. Cox. Don't worry about you're reputation." He said before walking towards the nurses' station.

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He walked into the room, hours later. She was asleep in the bed. Her face was rested on the pillows softly. Her cheeks look sunken in most likely from all the wait the disease was causing her to loose. Her arms rested on the top of the blankets. They looked do thin. It looked like you could see the bones.

He walked over to the other side of the bed to where the IV was hooked up. They had gotten consent to try chemo. Dr. Jameson, an oncologist in the hospital, had given him to okay to give her the first dose. He had hoped that the parents would be there. But they were too busy with the others. It was just wrong.

"Hannah?" He said quietly hoping not to startle her too much. "Hannah?"

She opened one eye.

"Hey." He touched the side of her face. "How are you feeling?"

"Sleepy." She said yawning.

"Well, you can go back to sleep, but we're going to try to give you some medicine that might make you feel better, okay?"

"Is Mama and Dada here?" She said with little hope.

"No, I'm sorry." He said softly. "They wanted to be, but they couldn't."

"Can you…" She yawned as he injected the dose through the IV. "Can you stay with me? I don't want to be alone." He looked around and nodded.

"Yeah, yeah I can." There was a brief silence and she tried hard to keep her eyes open. "You can go to sleep."

"I need to stay strong. Dada always said so."

"You grew up pretty quick. I mean you're only five and you're talking like you're fifteen."

"I have a lot of younger sisters and brothers to look after." She yawned. He stayed silent for a second.

"Life isn't supposed to be this hard, Hannah. You shouldn't have to always be strong."

"I'm a big girl now." She yawned again. He took her hand.

"Go to sleep, Hannah. Sleeping doesn't make you weak."

She nodded and her eyes fluttered shut.


	6. Months?

He must have fallen asleep somewhere along the lines. It was almost four in the morning when he awoke. He looked at the sleeping child and sighed before getting up and walking out.

"Can you keep an eye on her?" He asked sleepily to a passing nurse.

She nodded. "Yes, Dr. Dorian."

He forced a small smile before walking down the hall to an on-call room. He sunk into the bed and forced his eyes shut hoping to catch two more hours of sleep before having his shift.

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His pager went off causing him to get up not really catching up on any sleep. He went to the nurses' station.

"Good Morning, Carla." He said.

"Good Morning."

"Susie, do you get paid to stand there and chat with the nurses. Now, I know you want to discuss nails and the mega-hottie you spotted at the mall. But, there are patients that come in here complaining of pain. So… do you mind?"

"I was paged." He explained.

"That would be by me." JD turned to Carla again.

"Hannah's mother came in to drop off something. I figured you would want to talk to her."

He nodded and walked towards the room.

"Hi, Mrs. Davis, I'm Dr. Dorian." The woman turned towards him. She looked to be about mid thirties with blonde hair and deep blue eyes. She shook his hand. "I'm sure you're worried about Hannah, so if I may…" He said gesturing the chart he held in his hands.

"Um, yes," She sat down at looked at the doctor.

"Well, we got back the results." He looked at the sleeping girl in the bed. "She has an advanced stage of ALL… Acute lymphocytic leukemia."

"What does that mean?"

"It means… It means there isn't much to do, now. We started her on chemo yesterday, but I'm not sure how effective it will be."

Tears collected in the mother's eyes. "I should have brought her hear earlier."

"How long has she been showing symptoms?"

"She's been pretty weak for the last few months, but I was so busy with the twin babies… I just…"

He stiffened up.

"_Months?" He thought. _

"In two weeks, she'll be administered the next course of chemo. By then we'll know how effective it is. I should go."

"Thank you, Dr. Dorian." The woman said. JD walked out into the hallway and over to the nurses' station.

"What did she say?" Carla asked.

"A few months. She's been sick for a few months and is just now being checked out."

"Why didn't she come in sooner?"

"The mother was too busy." He shook his head. "It's just wrong. This all could have been prevented."

She nodded. "Some people…" She shook her head.

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He walked in the room after being paged. She was hunched over the pink plastic container. He hurried to the bed and rubbed her back as she continued to throw up. Once she was finished, she sat back and JD took care of the container. Tears filled her eyes as he handed her some water.

"Are you okay?" He asked. She shook her head. "Throwing up is a side effect of the treatment you're on."

"Thank you." She whispered handing him the cup.

"Do you want some crackers and ginger ale?" She nodded. "I'll be right back."

He walked out and noticed Carla standing near the window.

"Breaks your heart, doesn't it?" She said. He nodded. "Where are headed?"

"To get her some crackers, ginger ale, and Phenergan." She smile and nodded before walking away.

"Cinderella," Dr. Cox yelled.

"Dr. Cox, I'm not just standing around. I'm going to go get Phenergan for my patient."

"The young one?"

JD nodded.

"How is the chemo going?"

JD looked at him oddly. "We don't know yet. Her mother didn't bring her in for a few months so… it's advance. It's hard on her body… but, Dr. Cox, why do you care?"

He shrugged. "I don't. She seems like a good kid." With that he walked off.


	7. Distance

_Two weeks later…_

It seemed everyone in the hospital was getting close to Hannah. Carla would do her hair and talk to her. JD and sometimes Turk would play board games with her. Elliot would talk to her. The only one keeping his distance was Dr. Cox. He saw the signs and knew not to get wrapped up in it. He played with her a couple of times but tried to avoid it. Nobody liked to see her hurting or throwing up due to chemo, but knew it was necessary.

Dr. Cox walked down the hall holding a patient's chart trying to look busy. He passed Hannah's room, but back up to see in it. It was late and many doctors had left hours ago. There asleep in the chair beside the bed was JD. Cox had seen him sleeping there a couple of nights the week before, but didn't say anything since he assumed he was on-call. But tonight he was certain he was off.

He walked in and over to the chair.

"Newbie." He kept his voice low not to awaken the little girl in the bed. He hit his arm. "Newbie, get your ass up."

JD opened his eyes and looked at the older man.

"Come." Dr. Cox ordered which JD followed. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Sleeping." JD yawned.

"I can see that, Sleeping Beauty. But why? You got off four hours ago."

"She shouldn't be alone."

"Listen here, Newbie and listen good. I don't know what your deal is with this patient, but you have to distance yourself from her. Or you're going to go down and you're going to fall hard. The only way you will survive in this hellhole is if you learn to distance yourself from your patients."

JD nodded and walked down the hall without a word to him. He wasn't in the mood to talk or anything. He wasn't in the mood because Hannah wasn't improving. The chemo seemed to be doing nothing and she was only getting worse. Her fever had spiked, and she wasn't eating much. Dr. Jameson had given her the second round of chemo in hope it would have better luck and JD tried to hold out hope. But he didn't know if she had too much time left to fight it.

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"Over there Doug." JD said. "To the right."

"Oh, that's we're I let him." JD turned shaking his head.

"Does he always loss the dead bodies?" Elliot said watching at he struggles to pick one up.

"Yeah," JD shrugged before standing up all the way. "I got to go check to see if there are any changes in Hannah's condition."

"Is it getting any better?" He shook his head.

"Worse. Fever spiked."

"Damn. She's such a good girl. It not fair."

JD nodded and walked off.

"_I'm so sorry." The doctor said shaking his head. "It was too advanced." _

_Tears came to his eyes as he started to stumble backwards. He shook his head violently. _

"_It's not fair. She's too young to be dead."_

"_There was nothing more we could do."_

"_Come on, JD." Turk said._

"_No! She can't be gone." He yelled._

"_JD!" The young woman yelled as she ran up. JD took her into his arms as she sobbed. _

"_My baby is gone. My baby." She sobbed. _

"_I know. I know."_

He shook the memories from his head as he walked into the room.

"Good Morning, Hannah."

"Morning, JD."

"How are you feeling?"

Hannah shrugged. "Okay, I just."

She looked so frail in the bed.

"Le me take your temperature."

It beeped once and he pulled it out of her month. 104 degrees.

"I'm going to give you another IV and some Tylenol to try and reduce your fever."

"Okay."

"It might help if you drink something or do you want a Popsicle?"

"Okay."

"What flavor?"

"Cherry?"

"Sure. I'll be right back."

He walked out. "Carla?"

"How's Hannah doing?"

"Her fever is up to 104. I'm going to go get her some more ginger ale and a Popsicle. Can you get her on some Tylenol?"

"Yeah, sure." She said hurrying to the supply closet.


	8. Diseases Not People

"How you doing, Hannah?" JD said as he walked into the room.

"Okay, I guess. Miss. Carla said that she would come and do my hair again."

"Well, I'm sure you're going to look beautiful." His pager went off. "I'll be back to check on you."

"Okay, JD."

He walked out looking down at his pager.

"And there she is. Emily?" He yelled. "Where have you been?"

"I was just checking on my patient."

"The little girl?" JD nodded. "What did I tell you, Newbie? Distance yourself."

"I have. She's just… different."

"If you make her different then every other patient in this hellhole then you haven't distanced yourself."

"I am distancing myself, Dr. Cox. What do you need?" He said a little harshly.

"Have you given the meds to the guy in 2811?"

"I was going that way after I checked on Hannah."

"Have you done the chart work for 2176?"

"Not yet."

"Have you done anything yet?"

"I've checked on Hannah."

"My god, Newbie, do you have any clue what you're doing? If you keep going down this road, you won't be able to make it in this world."

"Dr. Cox, just lay off." Turk said coming up beside them.

"No, he needs to hear this." JD stood up taller. "The only way to make it in the medical word is if you don't look at patients as people but as diseases."

"She's only six."

"You can't look at her and see a six year old. Think of her as 80 for all I care. Her age doesn't change the disease."

JD shook his head and walked away. Dr. Cox put his laced fingers on the top of his head. He didn't get it.

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"He doesn't get it, Turk." JD said pacing the break room.

"Maybe he's right."

"Turk! He doesn't get it." He sighed and fell back onto the couch,

"Then, maybe you should… tell him. He's Dr. Cox. The man you've looked up to for years."

"No, nobody can know."

"JD, I loved Madison just as much as you, but you can't keep this bottled up. You're spending all night with that little girl. She's not Madi. The longer you think she is, the harder it's going to be."

"Not helping." He sighed as his pager went off. "I have to go."

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"Stay away from the sweets, Mr. Johnson." JD laughed as he backed out of the room. His smile fell from his face as he walked over to the nurses' station. "Mr. Johnson is back. He had another problem with his diabetes. Can you give him some insulin?"

"Sure thing, Bambi." Carla said with a smile before walking off. JD sighed before pushing off the nurses' station and walking into Hannah's room.

"Hey Hannah."

"Hi JD." Hannah said giving him a small smile. He smiled back and picked up her chart. Giving it a once over, he replaced it at the end of the bed and looked at her.

"Have you been feeling better?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Good. Any more throwing up?"

"No not really."

"Good." He started towards the door.

"JD?" She called him back.

"Hmm?" He turned to look at her.

"Can I get out of this bed?" He sighed and thought about it before nodding.

"We can go down to the café and get some lunch."

"Thanks, JD."

"Sure thing, Hannah. I'll be right back."


	9. Too Young

He sat watching her eat and couldn't help to think back to Madison again. It seemed like whenever he was with Hannah, he thought of her. He needed Hannah to live. If she did, it would be like Madison all over only this time… there wasn't a sad ending. He didn't know how to explain it.

_He chased after his young daughter. She was only five at the time. So young and innocent._

"_I'm going to get you." JD said. _

"_I'm too tired, Daddy." She said falling back on the couch. "My knee hurts." She said flexing her short leg. _

_JD walked over and looked at her knee. "Looks like a cute little knee to me."_

"_It hurts, Daddy."_

"_Did you fall?" She shook her head. "Maybe it's growing pains. Why don't you just stay off of it."_

"_Come on. Dinner is ready." Her mother called from the kitchen. _

"_We'll be right there." JD called back. _

"_Come on, JD. Don't let it get cold." She said from the kitchen. _

"_We'll be right there, Samantha." _

_Looking back, that was the first time he saw any signs of the illness._

Hannah's coughing brought him back to reality.

"We should get you back before you use up all your strength." He said standing up. She nodded and allowed him to wheel her back to the room. Dr. Cox watched shaking his head.

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_The evening…_

"JD," Turk called from the kitchen into JD's bedroom. He continued to stared at the ceiling a little longer before standing up and walking into the kitchen. "What's up with you?"

"Huh?"

"You barely said anything all night. Tell Chocolate Bear what's been going."

"I don't know, man, I can't stop thinking about Madi." He sighed. "Every time I see that little girl… I… I don't know."

"Then, tell Cox to switch."

"I can't do that. I just… can't." He fell back on the couch. "I just don't get it?"

"Get what?" Turk asked sitting down in the chair cradling a bowl of cereal.

"Why do they die so young?" He shook his head. "She never had a chance to live."

"I don't know." He sighed.

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He stared at the room having not gone in all day. The potential flu outbreak sent every mother to the hospital with their kids with nothing more then a runny nose. He sighed shutting the chart of another "flu" case that was actually presenting with more then just the sniffles. He headed for the room.

"Newbie, I hope you are not planning on going in there." Dr. Cox said as he hurried down the hall.

"She's my patient." He argued.

"Remember what I said."

"I'm not too close to her." He yelled after him before opening the door and walking in. "Hey Hannah."


	10. Taking A Toll On Her

_A week later…_

Carla sat behind Hannah's small body. Hannah sat carefully in the bed as Carla brushed the young girl's hair. Hannah was telling Carla all about her 'adventure' to the café with Turk and JD the day before. Carla was saying 'uh-huh' and nodding her head even though she couldn't see her head. She pulled the hair brush back and looked at it. Her face fell into a frown as she took a chunk of blonde hair. Hannah turned to look at her.

"Right, Miss. Carla?" She said with a big smile.

Carla looked up at her with a small smile giving her a nod. Hannah turned back and continued to talk. Carla touched the silk soft hair once more and threw it in the trashcan.

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"The chemo is really taking a toll on that little girl." Carla said with a sigh. She turned her glance from the window of Hannah's room to JD. JD just nodded as Carla watched as another nurse help Hannah get adjusted in bed. "She's starting to loss her hair."

"She's really weak. Losing weight too." He commented.

"It's so sad."

"You don't even know." He mumbled quietly.

"What did you say?" She asked looking back at him.

"Nothing." He shook his head. "I'll see you later."

He walked down the hall in his own little world when he ran right into someone. He looked up to have his gaze met with the Janitor.

"I'm not in the mood." JD mumbled.

"You're not even going to ask me where I've been?" He said scowling. JD sighed.

"Where have you been the last few weeks?" JD asked looking up at him.

"Why would tell you?"

"Then, why did you tell me to ask you?" The Janitor shrugged. "I have to go."

"Oh, big time doctor doesn't have time for a lowly janitor like me. Fine, I'll just mop."

"Okay, fine." JD said in a frustrated voice before walking away. Before he knew what was happening he was on his back. The Janitor came and hovered over his face.

"Floor's wet." He said with a smirk before standing up straight putting his hands into his pockets. "Maybe you should have spent time talking to a lowly janitor like me." He gave him one last smirk before walking away whistling. JD let out a long groan before lifting himself off of the ground.

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"Mrs. Rogers needs her pain meds." JD said into his recorder as he walked to the nurses' station.

"Oh god, not the tape recorders again." Carla groaned. "Those things are so stupid."

"What up, Vanilla Bear?" Turk's tape recorder played as he walked up.

"Hey, Brown Bear." JD's played back. They both erupted into laughter. Carla groaned and rolled his eyes. "These things are so cool." He laughed looking at his recorder.

"You two are so stupid." Carla said rolling her eyes.

"Hey, Baby." Turk said leaning across the counter and kissing her.

Silence fell between the three as Carla organized charts, and Turk and JD looked at their recorders. The shrieking sounds of heart monitors cut through the silence.


	11. Code Blue

"Code Blue. Room 3716." The PA screech. JD looked at Carla before hurrying towards her room. Carla wasn't far behind neither was Turk. They all ran into Hannah's room.

"_No!" He yelled as tears ran down his cheeks. It was like his legs didn't carry him fast enough as he ran down the hall. In one swift motion, he threw the door open. There in the bed laid the little girl. His little girl. The machines had been turned off as had half the lights giving the room a look of death. Her face was pale and looked so cold compared to the lively little girl she had been less than a year earlier. Slowly over the course of chemo she had lost the energy, but the innocent, happy look hadn't left her eyes. _

He snapped back to the reality as the monitor continued to go off. His eyes fell on the little girl and could feel the pull on his heart as he hurried to the bed.

"Push two of epinephrine." He ordered and started compressions. A minute had passed and the neither meds nor CPR seemed to be helping. "You can't do this." He yelled pumping harder. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. Dr. Cox had entered the room to see if he could help. "Don't do this. You can't do this." He cried out as everyone moved around him. The room was full of nurses and doctors and yet everything seemed so quiet. Another minute went by and still no change. "Paddles." He said and was quickly handed them. "Charge to 150."

"Charged." He heard Carla yell yet it seemed so far away.

"Clear." He yelled as Hannah's limp body lifted off the bed and fell again. He quickly handed the paddles off and continued CPR. "Come on. Come on. Damn it."

"_Daddy, I can't do this anymore." Madi wept as she wiped the vomit from her mouth. "I don't want to throw up." _

"_You have to fight this, Madi. You have to do this." JD said as few tears rolled down his cheeks. He knew his daughter was tired of chemo and getting sick. She was tired of the hospital. She was tired of everything. _

"_Daddy." She cried. _

"_Madi, you can do this."_

"You have to fight this, Madi. You can do this." JD said loud enough for the whole room to hear and didn't even realize it. "Push another two of epinephrine."

Carla looked at him for a second before following the order.

"Paddles." He said again and the nurse handed them over.

"Charge to 200."

"Charged."

"Clear." He yelled and watched as Hannah's body flew up and fell limp on the bed again. His hopeful eyes fell on the screen. The straight line continued to roll across the screen. He held his breath and just as he thought there was no hope. There was a spike.

"We have a beat." Carla announced. "Pulse is returning."

"We need an MRI." His voice cracked. "And monitor her."

He pushed his way out the door and everyone watched. Dr. Cox soon followed.

"Who's Madi?" He called causing JD, who had been making his way down the hall, to stop.

"What?" He asked not looking at him.

"You said that 'Madi' had to fight this." He said.

"Dr. Cox, don't…" Turk said from behind. Dr. Cox put up a hand singling for him to be quiet.

Silence fell between the staff. JD shook his head and started to walk away.

"Do you just get emotionally attached to everyone or just the people who are going to die?" He asked.

"Dr. Cox, I don't think…" Dr. Cox cut him off with his hand again.

There was more silence.

"Well, Newbie?"


	12. We Need You

A tear rolled off of his cheek and feel to the floor.

"Madison Ann Dorian." His voice was weak and cracked. Those were the only three words he said before starting to walk off leaving everyone, except Turk, wondering.

"JD, you can't keep doing this to yourself." Turk yelled. "Killing yourself won't bring her back."

JD didn't stop to listen.

"What about Samantha, JD?" He yelled causing JD to stop again. "What would she say if you continued to do this?"

"Don't do this Turk." He said sharply.

"Somebody has to. What would they say?"

"Please, Turk, just stop." He said walking away.

"JD…" He yelled and pleaded at the same time. JD turned to look at Turk. They were on opposite ends of the hall. "I loved them too, but it's time to stop doing this to yourself."

"She would be a teenager by now." He shook his head. "And that little girl in there won't have a chance to see it either."

"She made it through the code, JD. She can make it. Madi started with too much damage. There was nothing more they could you know that. Stop thinking Hannah is Madi."

"It's just not that easy… We were going to get married. I was going to finish school, and we would be one happy family."

"I know, and what happened isn't fair. But doing this won't bring them back. It won't undo what Samantha did. It won't cure Leukemia."

"Who is hell is Madi?" Dr. Kelso said after having walked up near the end. Everyone turned to glare at him.

"Madi was my daughter, sir. She died of Leukemia seven years ago." JD answered before walking off. Turk let out a frustrated groan before looking at Kelso.

"Thank you, sir." He said before running after him. "JD."

He continued to call his name as they ran up the stairs. When JD got to the top floor, he pushed the door open and walked out onto the roof. He walked to the edge putting his hands on the wall. He looked down at the parking lot below.

"JD." Turk said panting as he emerged from the door.

"I could just jump." JD said not really noticing Turk. He ran his hands on the bricks.

"JD…"

"They're gone." He said looking at Turk. "They're really gone. Madi died and Samantha killed herself."

"Be stronger than that JD." Turk said walking over. JD turned and looked at the parking lot.

"I can't be stronger anymore."

"We need you JD. Your patients need you. You're JD."


	13. The End

_A month later…_

He walked into her room.

"Hey." He smiled at her.

"Hey." She smiled back. She was looking better. Some of her hair was growing back. She was gaining wait. And more importantly, she was leukemia free.

"So you're being discharged today." He sat down on the edge of the bed. She nodded.

"Thank you, JD."

"You're welcome, Hannah. You're a good kid."

She smiled. "You're a good doctor."

"Hannah?" A voice came from the door as her mother knocker.

"Hi mom."

"Good Morning Dr. Dorian."

"Good Morning Mrs. Davis."

"Ready Hannah."

Hannah smiled. "Definitely." She got out of the bed and into the wheelchair that JD brought for her. "You'll come visit me, right?" She looked up at JD.

"Of Course." He smiled at her as he wheeled her down the hall. They got to the entrance.

"And JD?"

"Yeah?"

"Go visit her." She said hugging him. "Thank you."

"I'll see you around, Hannah."

She smiled and waved as she walked out of the hospital for the first time in two months.

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_Later that day…_

"Hey." He said as he walked up to the nurses' station.

"Hey Vanilla Bear." Turk said.

"Did Hannah go?" Carla asked. JD nodded.

"She beat the odds." He sighed. "She's a good kid."

"Yeah she is." Carla nodded.

"You off?" Turk asked and JD nodded. "What to go get some drinks?"

"Nah, I got to do something."

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He looked at the gravestone. Overgrown weeds grew up it. He knelt down and pulled the weeds back as tears filled his eyes. He took the scissors and cut them down before pouring water over top of the stone. Using paper towels, he wiped the mud off. He stood up and got a big bouquet of flowers from his scooter. He looked down at it.

"I love you, Madi." He set the flowers in the silver cup and back up looking at it.

"_**Madison Ann Dorian.**_

_**July 2, 1993- October 14, 2000"**_


End file.
